A cat lying on its back enticing you to nuzzle its lovely, fuzzy tummy is actually luring you into a trap, according to reports today.
The cat, which looks so harmless and innocent with his little legs up in the air and the soft fur of his tummy just sitting there waiting to be affectionately tickled, is actually a dangerous, dead-eyed psychopath just waiting for your hand to get within reach.
Survivors of the tummy have described it as being “like a trap loaded with springs and razors, accompanied by the sound of an angry kettle”, but how could such a wonderfully fluffy tumkin lead to anything like that?
“He looks so lovely,” said enthusiastic cat-petter Simone Williams, as her hand drifted ever closer to a terrible doom.
“I’ll just give a scootch to his tummy for a minute or two and then go and get on with my day.
“I’m sure he’ll be grateful and affectionate and I won’t need any of that antiseptic or plasters, so I’ve no idea why you keep hanging round clutching them with an air of trepidation.
“Maybe I’ll blow a raspberry on his tummy. He’s sure to love that.”